POOLS3-19

Title: The new Gaeltacht minister visits a restaurant in the Gaeltacht

Summary: This is a dráma written and staged by students on an Irish course for adult learners in Gweedore – a laughing stock is made of the new Gaeltacht minister

This is another little drama which is set in a restaurant, there are three characters, there's Betty Cití Dhubh the waitress, minister, the new Gaeltacht minister and I am Jean Pierre the cook and I am in the kitchen.

Gaeltacht Minister: Oh, how are you? I am the new minister for the Gaeltacht, I'm Liz, who are you?

Betty Chití Mary: Oh, you're welcome, I'm Betty Chití Mary, I'm a waitress here, would you like to sit here?

Gaeltacht Minister: Thank you Betty Chití Mary, is this an Irish language restaurant?

Betty Chití Mary: Oh, Irish, of course.

Gaeltacht Minister: I'm never sure which I should sat ‘an aire' (fem.) or ‘an t-aire' (masc.). 

Betty Chití Mary: Well, ah, people here, the locals say ‘náire' (disgrace), that you're a disgrace.

Gaeltacht Minister: Oh, thank you I'm a disgrace, I'm a disgrace, well thank you for that. Is there Irish in the kitchen as well?

Betty Chití Mary: Oh, Irish, of course.

Jean Pierre: Well, there's garlic in the kitchen!

Gaeltacht Minister: But you have a few words.

Betty Chití Mary: This is the....

Jean Pierre: I have only one word to say to you, ‘give me a grant'.

Gaeltacht Minister: What?

Jean Pierre: A grant please.

Gaeltacht Minister: Oh!

Betty Chití Mary: Here's the menu for you, and there's a Frenchman in the kitchen as well.

Gaeltacht Minister: ‘Francach, francach', oh, I don't have that word yet.

Betty Chití Mary: Don't you?

Gaeltacht Minister: No, wait a minute, wait a minute, Oh God help us, a rat, a rat in the kitchen?

Betty Chití Mary: Look, you look at this, I'll come back again. Jean Pierre, the ‘disgrace' is here.

Jean Pierre: The ‘disgrace', it's the ‘disgrace'

Betty Chití Mary: And she says you're a rat.

Jean Pierre: A rat, mon diú!

Betty Chití Mary: Is there any Irish language food, she wants Irish language food?

Jean Pierre: Irish language food, I have Gaelic food, I have Gweedore chicken here, special chicken.

Betty Chití Mary: I thought there was no chicken available today.

Jean Pierre: It's frog.

Betty Chití Mary: Where did you get the frogs?

Jean Pierre: On the bog this morning, they'll be alright!

Betty Chití Mary: They're nice and fresh.

Jean Pierre: Here's one frog, and here's another, garlic chicken, do you need anything else?

Betty Chití Mary: Is there any garlic soup?

Jean Pierre: There's this.

Betty Chití Mary: Thanks a lot. Here you go ‘disgrace', that's the garlic soup and this is Gweedore chicken.

Jean Pierre: The special!

Betty Chití Mary: It's the special.

Gaeltacht Minister: Well, there isn't much there, there isn't much there!

Betty Chití Mary: There isn't much there! Well, a little is appreciated.

Jean Pierre: That's your policy.

Betty Chití Mary: Well that's your policy, for the Gaeltacht.

Aire Gaeltachta: I don't understand, but I'll get there, I'll have it in a while.

Betty Chití Mary: Enjoy it anyway.

Gaeltacht Minister: And this is the soup, but there's a beetle in it.

Betty Chití Mary: Well, sure, it takes one to know one.